Fear of Flying

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those travellers who hyperventilate when they get on the plane and clutch at their armrests throughout the flight. After all, I’ve had a passport for as long as I can remember, and my first long-haul flight (to the US) occurred when I was 7. And, after studying in Australia for 6 years, journeying back and forth during that time period, I am now what one would call a seasoned traveller.

No, the fears I’m talking about are the little niggling worries that just sit at the back of your mind. You know the ones I’m talking about. Most people have them.

Pre-journey: Correct visas? Confirmed flight? Is there enough time between connecting flights? Is the luggage too heavy? Will I get stopped at immigration? Will I get stopped at security check? Did I accidentally put my nail clippers in my hand-carry? Will my shoes set off the metal alarm?

During the flight: Will the plane crash? Will I get stuck in the middle seat wedged between two massively obese snoring pigheaded individuals who will use up my oxygen supply? How bad will the food be? Will I get a DVT? (ok, maybe only medical people think about this obsessively…or maybe it’s just me…) Will I get food poisoning from the food? And, post-September 11: Will hijackers crash the plane into tall buildings?

Post-flight: What if my luggage got misdirected and is now in Sweden? What if customs won’t let me through? What if immigration won’t let me in? What if someone tries to still my bags while I reach for my suitcase? What if someone steals my suitcase? And, post-Schapelle Corby: What if someone planted drugs in my suitcase.

And, my own personal addendum:
POST-GRADUATION: What if they call out for a doctor?

See, legally and ethically, I am obliged to respond to any calls for medical assistance. Ironically, as I progressed through my internship, this fear deepened. Yes, if an emergency arises, I have a better idea of what to do. My management, however, relies on hospital pharmacies, intravenous access, and, sometimes, the resuscitation trolley and someone with knowledge of intubation. None of which is likely to be available on a plane, thousands of miles above ground. Which means, if someone asks for a doctor, I’m not sure how much use I would be. Except maybe to give CPR?

Oh well, I’m about 20 minutes from landing. Need to turn off my laptop before it interferes with navigation equipment and ends up with us landing in the middle of the south super highway on top of a Pajero. (Not a figment of paranoid imagination, this actually happened when I was in 6th grade!!! Not the laptop, but the plane)

The year that was

Unlike most people, the 1st of January, for me, was just an ordinary day. I didn't even get paid extra for working on that day. See, as an intern, my year ended on the 1oth of January.

And what a year it was.

Everyone told us that it would be a baptism of fire. But nothing really prepared us for the intern year. Fears were alternately realised or dismissed as paranoia. And my personal learning curve grew exponentially. But I'm not going to talk about medical information I learned, that would take a whole blog in itself. Instead, this entry is more a reflection on the top 10 non-medical lessons I learned about the world and myself.

1. People will smell fear, so either get over it, or learn to manage it.
2. I need to work on my tolerance levels -- after all, to someone else, I might be as incompetent as the people who piss me off.
3. Chocolate goes a long way in cheering people up. Playing with babies always cheers me up.
4. Never be afraid to ask for help. No one will think any less of you for acknowledging your limitations. (And anyone who does isn't worth worrying about.) And don't be afraid to say "I don't know" -- you look like less of an idiot than if you lie and get found out.
5. Taking the stairs, if your health permits it, is the smarter option: it's just as fast as the lift and you're not likely to get stuck in the stairwell. Just make sure it isn't the fire escape and you inadvertently set off the fire alarm.
6. People DO go crazy when it's a full moon out.
7. I am obsessive compulsive. Which I knew before this year. What I know now is that I have "a healthy level of obsessive-compulsiveness, which is necessary to be a good doctor". (Thanks Dr. Norton)
8. Not everyone notices patterns in dates. In fact, I have yet to find someone else who automatically thinks "5 plus 1 is 6" on the 5th of January. Or who has the giggles when the date is 3/4/5.
9. I need my sleep. And my coffee. And sugar if I am to function in the morning.

and...
10. I would have never survived this year if it wasn't for the fantastic group of people I worked with. To my fellow interns... WE SURVIVED!!!

An empty locker

Today,I emptied my locker of books, jumpers, tins of tuna, packs of powdered soup, and assorted pens/highlighters/drug company giveaways. My intern year finishes on Tuesday. It's been an interesting study in relativity. On the one hand, I couldn't WAIT for this torture/year to end. On the other hand, it's gone by so quickly, it scares me. In 3 days, the new interns will be paging ME, asking ME for help. I hope I'll be able to say something sensible, rather than the one thing running through my mind -- "Hell if I know. I was just an intern YESTERDAY!!!"